Oh death, old friend, I see you often, sometimes you show up unannounced
I have always had an interesting relationship with death. During my teenage years I frequented the cemetery, I visited the dead. It was my thing to do when I wanted to retreat and collect my thoughts. I didn’t always have the gift of seeing but I have always had the gift of hearing and sensing. Maybe why I have such strong connection to animals.
At the cemetery I spent time with the crows and the other birds. As I walked from one area to the other and visited the departed the birds kept me company. [excerpt from the book: Autobiography of a woman, by Adriana Zotelo]
(August 26, 2024)
PART IV
I started writing this blog post a couple of years ago and attempted to complete it a few times but could never finish it. It’s a touchy topic for me.
The death of an animal friend, When a fur baby passes it hits me hard. I mourn them deeply. I feel the vacancy of their presence no longer around very intensely.
I understand death is a natural part of life, and after a fulfilling long life, when an animal friend departs I grief but I don’t suffer. I honor their memory, I thank them for being in my life and I love them. But when they leave suddenly, ahhhhh that hits me and hurts me like a deep cut to my heart.
My mind wishes it could go back in time, at least so I can properly say good-bye. One last hug, one last cuddle. . .
A few days ago my sweet Tulsi went missing, unusual because she never leaves. She was one of 4 in a beautiful cat family, her mama a tortie cat and her two ginger brothers. Tulsi was all black, gorgeous girl, the sweetest girl in the world, her meow sounded like a little girl, the most tender sound, could melt your heart. After a couple of days we found her, it seems she had been hit by a car …
My world crashed, the harsh reality hit me like a wall, my ears stopped working, my heartbeat felt loud and intense I could feel it pulsing in my veins. I wanted to escape my reality.
Tulsi was everyone’s friend. All the cats in the house liked to play with her, they liked to take naps with her, she was a very loving cat, and just like that, she’s gone. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing in my power can change that.
My friend is gone, and I have to keep going.
The Vedas teach us that every day we prepare to die a conscious death. Every day we work with the awareness that it is one more day lived and one closer to death. How we will transition is an important topic to those who follow the vedic system. To live life as a daily meditation, aware and conscious of ones actions and thoughts and views and perspectives is a good way of preparing as we move through the journey of living.
(November 9, 2019)
PART I
This morning my sweet Nana transitioned to doggy heaven. She left us with many wonderful memories and moments in time I will treasure forever and will keep very close to my heart. Nana was the sweetest little star met at the perfect time in my life. We didn’t know her past, didn’t know what she had gone thru in her life but we knew we loved her the moment we saw her, and she loved us. Nana was all Love. In the 9 months we had her she gave us her spirit, all of her, she lifted herself and she lifted us. She was funny and tender and even though she peed and pooped everywhere, not intentionally of course, I loved her infinitely, I still do.
In my years through this incarnation I have had many animal friends, all of them close to my heart, all of them have left their imprint in my heart.
>sigh
I know I can see Nana whenever I “want”, but dang it I miss hugging her and grabbing her sweet little face and kissing her cheeks. The way she use to look at me, with so much gratitude ..Nana I Love You my sweet girl. Forever.
I have been in the presence of death and the dying since I was very young, specially animals.it seems they come to me to die. My childhood friend use to call me the animal death angel, maybe it sounds dark. Im ok with that.
I mourn them, I mourn them hard. I love them so much.
What is death?
Where do we go? … there is sooo much on this topic im not sure im going to dive deep into these waters right now.
The Unified Field is the platform where Conscious Awareness Is, everything becomes One, All Is Permanent, the Eternal Now.
So what does this have to do with death??
We Never End.
In theory this is beautiful. When a person is in grief this concept, as lovely as it is, may not the best one to bring up. A person mourning is in a very delicate state of being.
Many Moons ago I learned a powerful meditation technique known as “The Happy Place”. It became a regular practice for a long time, absolutely lovely and empowering in every way.
After my sweet boy Bugsie passed in 2013 I was having a hard time sitting in conscious meditation. I was angry, and sad. 16 years that beautiful boy was by my side. I was 8 months pregnant when he crossed.
I didn’t want to transfer any feelings of grief to my baby, so one day sitting in my garden I was telling my baby inside my belly all the wonderful memories I had of Bugsie and what an amazing friend he had been to me and suddenly I realized I was entering my happy place. So I went along with it and as I entered this beautiful magical world there he was!, my happy boy Bugsie! He was in my happy place!!
I was overjoyed, in absolute bliss to see him, he seemed young and happy.
After this I realized my friends go to my world when they leave this one, that beautiful magical place I call happy place.
Ever since this, whenever an animal is getting ready to depart, I see Bugsie. As if he is the one who comes through the portal to take the new souls through, how amazing is this, right?!
It can be a cat, a dog, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a chicken, a butterfly… a life. I call in my troop from the other side, they come in, never fails, its absolutely magical.
I now understand it is all within the Quantum field, we are all in the field, some of us in material form, some of us not, but we’re all in the field.
When I was a child I had a goat, her name was Paquita, I loved her so much. I took care of her everyday and hoped she’d get better, and even though for a bit it seemed she was recovering she did not and Spirit called her back. Her passing was a huge impact in my life.
Later, when I was 13 my gramps passed. He was such an amazing man in my life. [….so many great things to say here about this incredible man, I just cant go there]
Something I noticed, when I see a dead human body it looks like an empty vessel, maybe the embalming..? I don’t know. My gramps didn’t look like himself when he was in the casket. I remember looking at him and feeling puzzled, like I didn’t know how to feel, I wanted to cry for him not being there, but looking at what was left of him didn’t seem real to me, he didnt look like him.
I cried for him, yes, very much. But that was interesting to me, that he -in the casket, didn’t look like himself.
With the animals who have died in my arms, or in my presence, no embalming, their bodies look like themselves, like they’re sleeping. My cats, my rabbits, my piggies, I look at their faces, their mouths, their little arms and hands, or paws, or wings.. I recognize their bodies, they look like themselves. i say my good-byes to them.
Is that weird?
. . . So,
Death is where this existence is completed and the next one begins. I guess we’ll all catch up on the flip side.
(January 31,2023)
PART III
Death is an inevitable part of life, an interesting counterpart, an opposite, a reflection of life on the other side. Death is something we experience, but once crossed over, do the departed experience us from where they are? … I imagine that would be too much. if death is a part of life, and life is a “timeline of events” ..to call it something, then the idea of looking back and what was doesn’t seem very likely, or does it?
I have seen a lot of death in my life, humans, yes.. Animals, many.
I feel a lot more affected by the death of an animal than the passing of a human, sounds harsh, I apologize, I don’t mean any disrespect. I do mourn the passing of a loved one. I have felt and suffered the death of loved ones, my grampa,, hmm, that was tough, and then my gramma…. Yes.
But animals, I have always had a very close bond with my animal friends. They are loving and giving and pure, its impossible for me to not fall in love with an animal, the connection is deep and pure, so their passing is a hard moment for me.
I understand death is not a bad thing, but the absence of who use to be there and then is no more is a pain I feel and I honor. Mourning is an important part of the journey of death, I know.
Since I was little I’ve lost my friends to their transition, Paquita, my goat, my pig Mama, my bunnies, my cats, my dogs; then as an adult, my Bugsie, ugh this was tough, he was more than my dog, he was my child, my best pal for 16 yrs, then Pheebie my sweet girl (no words), then Pitbull, my cat. Luna, Sol, Huckleberry, Hammy, Charlie, Rocky, Rosie, Pluma, Shanti, Nana!!!! Lucy, Tootsie Roll, Bluebear (I cant even..) Onchao my mama rabbit, the mama of such beautiful bunny colony, she chose the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse Beltane portal to crossover ….and so many more – each one I felt their departure so deeply, I still feel it.
A friend once told me I am a death doula for animals, it seems they choose me to be with them as they pass. Another friend said I’m their death angel… I don’t know what to make of this.
(December 23, 2021)
PART II
The journey of death is quite the preparation between the soul and the body.
As the soul is aware the time of transition is near it prepares the body and the mind for that very moment of rebirthing into the next realm.
I have seen it time and time again with people and animals. Animals are absolutely amazing in the process of preparing for such moment.
Recently, my beautiful girl Lucy crossed over the rainbow bridge, she was 16. A gorgeous Calico cat, big beautiful eyes and sweet as can be. I miss her dearly.
We share our lives with many animals and each one is unique and special. It doesn’t matter how many we have, when one departs its felt, they are missed and our hearts mourn.
The Love an animal gives is pure and without conditions, and when they leave and are no longer around it hurts, deep.
About 2 weeks before her departure I started noticing Lucy’s behavior changing, it was small things, but I noticed. She was not big on roaming outside the house too much, and if she did step outside she’d stay by the back door, and within 10 or 15 min shed come right back inside.
Lucy was a cat who was left outside all the time until she came in to my life. When we met, I use to keep my backyard door open all the time and she’d sneak inside and hide in my closet 🙂 She did this for a long time.
When my mom came to stay with me, my daughter was about yrs old, Lucy got close to mom and started sleeping on her bed. This is when she became our house cat. Eventually, Lucy’s then-owner handed us her papers and said, she has chosen her family. We were beyond happy about this. Celebrated this moment.
Lucy lived with me about 5 yrs until her departure, and when she took her last breath she was by my side. My girl Lucy. She chose the night of the Winter Solstice to cross through, what a magical time to transition, a beautiful portal of renewal.
For weeks her attitude started shifting. One day she stood by the front door and stared at it, she wanted to go outside, when I opened the door she walked out and smelled the flowers and rubbed her nose on every flower and plant in the garden. She could barely walk then, I had to help her go up and down the steps, I knew her time was near and it was breaking my heart, I felt blessed being able t share those moments with her, there was no where else I wanted to be but right there with her. She was so graceful.
Days prior to her leaving she stopped eating and got very thin. She still walked around, and had water…her body was getting ready, she was shedding.
I recognize this behavior all too well.
We gave her all the love we could, all the cuddles and special attention.
Just a few months after my handsome boy Bluebear, also about 16 years old, went through this process of preparing to transition. He died in my arms.
These lovely animals, beautiful tender creatures, they are angels, they bring heaven to Earth, they bring us the opportunity to discover the amazing person we have living inside, they bring beauty to Earth, living breathing beauty.
Death is not the end. It is a rite of passage. It carries us into our next journey, until we all meet again.
Akal!
OmShanti
